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Confessions Of A Single Mom: The Key To Successful Single Parenting

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“Doing the tough things sets winners apart from losers.” ~Stephen Richards

Single Parenting Is Crazy… 

single parenting

I woke up this morning feeling tired.. honestly.. felt like taking a nap, even though I just woke up.

Last night I had a moment where I felt stretched… (I never use the word ‘overwhelmed’ as my mentor has banned it) so I  will say stretched.. lol

Yesterday my baby girl stated Girl Scouts. She is so excited about this experience.  As the girls were working on their first badge as Brownies.. the moms were sitting at a table getting to know each other.

We all live in the same area.. yet live different lives.. yet not all that different.  At the end of the day we are parenting.  I knew on of the moms already and she is newly divorced and is now discovering how single parenting can be a little crazy.

While us moms were at the table talking the Troop leader came over and mentioned some areas that she would need help.. one area being that she needed a cookie mom.  Now I was the cookie mom for 3 years for my older daughters troop when she did Girl Scouts.  And honestly I’ve enjoyed the break.  Really had not desire to go back to being about that life at all.. lol..

Yet once I heard the conversation around me.. I realized I would be doing my youngest daughter a disservice if I did not step up.  Yet while stepping up I said, “I’m a single mom, so I will need help”.. It slipped out of my mouth so smoothly.. almost like an excuse.. or something.. follow me now.. it’s getting ready to get real..

The Negative Effects Of Single Parenting Depend On How You Look At It! 

I really didn’t realize what I had said.. until we were walking into the building and one of the other moms asked me how many kids I had.. I told her 2.. my oldest was in the car as I had just picked her up from Cheerleading prior to bringing Chloe to Brownies.  The other mom explained how she had one and that she was a single mom as well.  She paused.. and looked at me..

I could tell she wanted to ask me something.. yet I patiently waited for her to let it out.. I felt like I was about to hear about some single parenting issues, as she was looking at me with a very serious look on her face.  You know that feeling you get when you don’t really know a person and they give you that look.. like they are getting ready to unload.. so you prepare yourself.. shoulders go back a little.. chin raises just a tab… you take a deep breath in.. and then… out.. and…

Finally she says, “How do you find the time to do all of this as a single mom?”

I relax a little.. I know the answer to that one.. lol.. “I’m a stay at home single mom, I make a living on the internet”.  I quickly ask… “What do you do?”

She replies with where she works.. and how many hours she works..and how it is HARD!

At this moment one would think I would go right into how she can be about this life… yet I noticed her body posture, the look in her eyes.. the feeling of confusion.

One thing I know is when single parenting leads to that confused feeling of being stuck and not understanding how to change it.. that offering her “This Life” was not in the cards.. at the moment.  (Key: The hard sale rarely works.. if you have a passion to see a person succeed)

 single parenting

The Key To Successful Single Parenting

 After looking over a few single parenting articles.. I realized that I can really only tell you the key to successful single parenting.. check it out..

Assignment:

  1. Incorporate this technique into your life.
  2. Write out the Vision you have for your child/children.
  3. Comment on this post with the results of how you are implementing successful single parenting.

single parenting

 

Keep Smiling,

Shalonda Gordon

Successful single parenting is simply once you have the key.

Parental Accountability A Luxury Lost!

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Parental Accountability Leads To Obedient Children

parental accountability

What Do You Mean Parental Accountability Leads To Obedience?

I know.. I know.. as parents we start out with the feeling that we only have to be accountable to ourselves..

our boss..

our God..

yet the truth is we have to be accountable to our children as well.

Raising a child today is totally different then when we were growing up.

Our parents could get away with not having to be accountable to us.

Back in those days most adults were accountable..

and the few that were not..

well they didn’t really stand out.

Yet if you look at the world that we live in today..

you can see that the majority is not exactly what you would want your child mimicking.

Therefore we have to take different approach in how we parent. Parental accountability is a must today.

parental accountability Parental Accountability Takes Humility and Strength

As a parent you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The first time I held myself accountable in front of my daughter, I felt like I was losing my mind.

Literally, I felt like I was wrong for even letting her feel like she had this kind of “Power”.

Yet, as I begin exhibiting parental accountability and explain to her my faults and my strengths, as I begin to explain to her why I did what I did, and why I was wrong.

I noticed a look in her eyes, that I had never seen before.

I noticed her shoulders kind of stand up a little higher.  I noticed a softness in her face, along with a relief.  I asked her what she was thinking.  Her response was:

It is good to know that you mess up sometimes too.  I also love you so much and I know it is okay to mess up sometimes as long as I can  talk about it by telling the truth.  I want to lie sometimes because you seemed so perfect and I didn’t want to disappoint you.

Once I noticed the response and the new found transparency come out of my child.. I knew parental accountability is the way to go.

You really don’t have to believe me.

All you have to do is give it a try.  See for yourself the response you get.

parental accountability

Deciding against Parental Accountability My Lead To Horrible Circumstances

Circumstances come with every decision.

See some circumstances are good.. and some are bad.. which do you prefer?

I prefer GOOD.. and what I have noticed is that the more parental accountability that I exhibit, the more obedient my children become.

Maybe it’s because they realize that it’s okay to mess up sometimes.

Maybe it’s because they see that unconditional love is given and received by everyone in the house.

Maybe it’s because they simply do not mess up as much because they aren’t constantly thinking about it.. (that is another post all together).

All I know is that as I humble myself.. and leave my pride outside, my children are obedient.

All you have to do is give it a try…

an HONEST try.

Leave a comment sharing your experiences.

Guys we are in a different time.

We have to raise our kids differently then the way we were raised.

We simply do not have the luxury of doing it the ways of the past.

It’s kind of like that saying about old wine skins.

Look around.. the wine they are making today.. isn’t like the wine they made 20 years ago.

Parental accountability is like new wine skins.

Keep Smiling,

Shalonda

 P.S. Place your name and email below and learn the one technique that literally changed my life.. trust me.. it’s not what you think!(wink)

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