Single Mom Confessions: Is It Mercy Or Grace?

First I’m just going to be complete REAL with you and show you a picture that represents the outcome of the situation.

 

Yes.. this is a lovely picture of my mom, my daughters and myself before we head out to a fabulous dinner in Jamaica this past summer.

Now you probably are not really ready for how all this started..  and why I simply had to confess.  But I’m going to throw it all at you anyways.

See being a single mom was never really the plan for me.. well not as far as my Mom and Dad were concerned.  I was going to be a Physical chemist that worked for Nasa with several degrees.  Maybe get married some day and then have kids.. Being a single mom was simply not in the mix. To say the least it didn’t quite work out that way.  And between you and I.. I’m glad about it..

A Single Mom Living Because Of Mercy!

I went down a crazy path in order to get to that picture above.. one that involved lies, stealing, and murder!! Yes you read it right.. murder! Yeah.. as you read this all the way to the end.. you will discover who died in order to create such joy!

See mercy is that stuff you get when you are wrong.. wrong.. wrong.. just wrong all the time!

Mercy comes a long like a net and catches you so that you don’t bust your head when you fall.  Look as a single mom we have plenty of others quick to point out our faults.. lets be honest about it.. and you may be in a season in your life where you focus more on blaming others for your current situation.. trust me I know the world we live in makes it really easy.. Let me just tell you a quick story.

I literally blamed my mom for everything wrong in my life prior to having my first daughter 13 years ago.

It was her fault that I didn’t get to go to the college I wanted.. It was her fault that I didn’t have a healthy love life.. It was her fault I didn’t have my dad around.. It was her fault that I didn’t love myself.. It was her fault.. It was her fault.. It was her fault..

Then it was a normal day in December when I became a mom.  I looked at my daughter  and at that moment.. I would love to tell you I had this revelation.. yet I didn’t.. Now it was my mother’s fault that I didn’t know how to be a good mom..

Oh yeah.. I went there..

I couldn’t see my own mistakes.. for NOTHING! (don’t judge my grammer.. just read)

This went on for quite awhile. Now I should let you know I’m an only child and my mother became a single mom when I was 9 years old, once my parents divorced.  And my mother was there for me.. STRONG.. my entire life.. Truth be told she was the only person I could count on in the mist of anything in my life.  She was also the main one that received the wrath of my anger, hurt, misunderstanding and inability to accept responsibility for my actions.

All of these were examples of living under mercy! And if I’m really honest with you.. I didn’t give a crap about it.

At least not at the beginning.. not until I looked at my daughter!

No.. I don’t think you understand.. I really looked at her.. I saw the future I wanted for her.. I saw the joy I wanted her to experience.. I felt the pain that I didn’t want her to experience.. I really saw her.. I loved her.. I loved her more then anything I’d ever loved before her.

Grace Overtook this Single Mom Because of The Same Thing That Gave Mercy

I remember clear as day that moment when I felt my mercy turn to grace.  It was that moment when I actually accepted responsibility. I told you earlier that murder was involved.  Well, it was I murdered myself.  That old Shalonda simply had to go.. That Shalonda that didn’t accept responsibility for anything.. that one that blamed everyone.. that one that couldn’t see the blessings that surrounded her every single day of her life.  That one that would take credit for the good yet blame others for the bad.. That one that acted like somebody owed her something..

Oh.. yes.. that Shalonda DIED!! A bloody death.. and knowing what I know now.. I would kill her again to get here.

See moving in grace as a single mom is a precious thing.. the favor that comes with grace overtakes my children.  It allows me to show them instead of telling them.

Don’t miss what I just said..

It allowed me to show them instead of tell them..

My mother and I are good.. we are real good.. did I have to apologize for a few things..

Ummmm Yes.. WAIT.. let me just tell it how it is.. I’m still apologizing.. lol.. smile

Single Mom Takeaway:

Recognize the difference between Mercy and Grace in your life.  (As you read.. I’m sure you see the difference)

Below you will find 3 questions to ask yourself.  If you answer yes to all of them.. then your assignment is to share your truth with another Single Mom.  We must help each other.. because we understand what we go through.

The Questions:

1.  I accept responsibility for ALL my actions!
2. If I watch my child acting JUST LIKE ME on a daily basis, I would not worry about them AT ALL!
3. I can list 50 things I am grateful for right now!

If you answered NO to any of these questions.. then you may be operating in mercy.  If the questions make you feel some kind of way.. you may be operating in mercy.  And guess what that is OK.. we all start some place.  There are days when I’m operating in mercy and I know it.

Assignment (If you are bold enough to accepted it.. most are too scared to do this assignment.. are you scared?? )

Leave a comment giving one example of when you’ve experienced mercy and one example of when you experienced grace!

Keep Smiling,

Shalonda Gordon