Child support has a bad rap.. the reality is if you take the government out of the situation.. it will still need to be a priority! ~Shalonda Gordon
Child Support Payments Truth Revealed!
What a serious topic.. at least for those of us that it effects..
From custodial parents to non-custodial parents, we are all effected.
When it comes to child support many immediately go to “The System”. They basically put all the power in the hands of the government and wait for them to collect their child support payments. There is this big uproar about how “unfair” it is for the non-custodial parent. Or It’s an uproar about how the custodial parent uses the funds.. Well for the rest of this article.. I will no longer differentiate between non-custodial parents and custodial parents.. from this point further we are simply PARENTS!
Just so you know my perspective.. yes I’m a parent that keeps the children in my home 99% of the time. Yes I’m the primary caregiver as well as provider. I have two daughters with two different fathers. (Feel free to say what you want about me.. it says nothing about my character.. it only speaks to yours.. yet that is a totally different article.)
I remember when I first came into contact with “The System” for child support payments. It amazed me how much of my life it took away and how it appeared to be such a negative thing. Like how dare I attempt to hold a parent accountable for their actions. I felt discouraged, hopeless, and alone. Now I was not alone.. yet I felt that way.
As a parent, you want the best for your child. Regardless of what happens in relationships between the parents, the child should have the chance to feel the love and support all around them. Yet it seems those child support payments can cause all kind of friction.
See one parent feels like they need more assistance while the other parent feels like they…. Ok.. Ok.. enough of the PC talking.. let’s be real..
Folks are straight HURT..and hurt people… hurt people. And if they can do it by making the money tight.. so be it.
My Story With Child Support Payments Is Common.. Yet How I Dealt With It.. Not So Common
Want to know my story?? Well.. when it comes to child support payments… I only have one to tell.. as my youngest child is in “The System”, yet I take care of her solo.. (All Glory To God that I’m able to)
So my oldest child’s father was giving me around $100 a month.. when my daughter was 9 months to around 1.5 years old. Then he received a better job…. much better. His overhead was no where near mines.. yet he told me.. notice that word.. TOLD me.. we didn’t discuss it, he didn’t inquire as to the needs of the child.. he simply told me that now he would give me $150 a month, while he made $50,000 a year. I sat there and made a decision. I decided to allow the government to collect my child support payments for me. And well lets just say $150 didn’t quite cut it.
Now let me just go a little deeper.. as I know all about the other money that a parent spends outside of child support payments. You know the clothes, the presence, the activities, the daycare, the school supplies. Yes there are many many other ways to support a child without giving the other parent money. Yet that was not my story. I received that amount and all that other stuff that money can be spent on.. well that was my money being spent on those things.
Notice I didn’t state anything about ‘feelings’. I made the decision to end things. I decided I could do better alone. I made decisions that today.. knowing what I know now..
I would have done the EXACT SAME WAY! Yet.. child support payments should have NOTHING to do with how you are feeling.. and if a parent is making decisions based on feelings when it comes to child support.. they are in the WRONG, PERIOD.
Now even though “The System” had the power to collect the child support payments.. there were years when I received nothing at all. Now this is where it got REAL INTERESTING..
That kind of secret room in the back of the closet kind of forbidden.
Now Stop Reading If You Have Drank The Kool-Aid, Walk Around In A Daze Half Of The Time, Thinking You Are In Control Of Your Life Even Though You Do Not Control Your Child Support Payments!
See “they” like it when you keep arguing over things that are out of your control.. For example you have kids..
You are a single parent..
You are struggling to make ends meet…
You allow “them” to collect your child support payments…
You do not receive the payments.. now you have no control over the collection of the funds.. you realize that if the payments come.. they come.. if they don’t they don’t
You get angry with the other parent. There is this underlining dislike in your voice every time you talk about the other parent.
The child feels all of this.. yet you do not take control back.. you keep playing the blame game.
Now your child grows up and has issues.. because you couldn’t get it together.. all because you GAVE UP CONTROL!
(Take a moment and breathe this in.. do not sit here and ask “who are they”.. does it really matter.. what are YOU doing??)
How To Take Control Of Your Child Support Payments!
There are some specific steps that I had to do in order to break free and TAKE control of my situations. I mean as a parent we have enough to worry about.. and honestly I didn’t want to think about the other parent every day I noticed that I was not receiving support. I did not want to spend my life thinking about a person I decided not to be with.. especially when the thoughts were not positive. So I learned a few things.. that I’m going to teach you right here.
1. Click Here And Complete The Form
3. Start practicing the steps in the Video Above.
4. Click Here Now that you are READY To Take Control!